Maybe you're not falling behind...
Maybe you’re not falling behind.
There is a particular thought I hear from women again and again:
“I'm falling behind.”
Or:
“I'm not doing enough.”
These thoughts are actually invitations to reassess
not your productivity, but your relationship with time.
I recently came across the work of Dr. Larry Dossey, who writes about what he calls “time sickness”—the feeling that there is never enough time, that we must constantly hurry, and that being busy has become a way of moving through life. Allowing our lives to be dictated by a clock.
It made me think about how many of us move through an ordinary day:
Cleaning while thinking about the next thing.
Eating while answering a message.
Moving from one responsibility to another.
Rushing as though something is chasing us.
Even when there is no actual danger.
From an Ayurvedic perspective, this quality of constant movement can aggravate vata, while the urgency, intensity and drive to keep accomplishing can also aggravate pitta.
I've seen some version of this pattern in many of the women I've worked with—from their 30s onward.
And there are many reasons it can happen.
One of them is simply being a woman moving through time. We are a remarkable species. We undergo so many periods of transition throughout our lives as women:
Our first menstruation.
The monthly cycle itself.
Conception.
Pregnancy.
Birth.
Postpartum.
Perimenopause.
Menopause.
Each one asks us to become someone slightly different.
In a sense, we are constantly building, breaking down, and rebuilding. Women encounter death and rebirth many times throughout their lifetime on Earth.
But here's where things can get difficult:
We sometimes try to enter a new phase of life while continuing to live according to the rules of the previous one.
For instance:
A new mother may expect herself to move through the day the way she did before having a baby.
A woman in perimenopause may still expect herself to have the energy, schedule and pace she had at 25.
A woman whose responsibilities have changed may continue measuring herself against an old version of what “enough” looked like.
And when the old way stops working, we often conclude:
“Something is wrong with me.”
What if the more useful question is:
“What has changed—and what does this phase of my life require from me now?”
This is where I think our relationship with time matters.
Not abandoning the clock entirely. We have appointments, children, work and responsibilities (obviously).
But becoming less governed by it.
Could rest be determined by what your body is asking for rather than whether you've “earned” it?
In postpartum, could we pay attention to baby's cues and our own rhythms rather than believing everything has to happen according to the clock?
In birth, can we trust in our body's design, allow our bodies to expand with the flow of time, and not allow the fear of time to dictate and constrict our pelvic floors and birth experience?
In perimenopause, could we stop expecting ourselves to live at the pace we did in our twenties simply because we technically can? Perhaps it's about getting more intentional with your time and not allowing everyone to have access to you?
This isn't about doing less for the sake of doing less.
It's about learning to live according to the phase you're actually in.
Sometimes, what we call resistance is simply the struggle to hold onto a rhythm that has already served its purpose. And resistance can be felt in the body through various symptoms.
Letting go of it doesn't mean you're falling behind. It might be the beginning of becoming someone who is better suited to the life you're living now.
This is part of what I mean when I talk about pattern recognition.
Before asking, “How do I fix myself?”
Pause. Look at the pattern. Look at the phase of life.
Look at the demands you're placing on your body.
And then ask:
“What needs to change?”
That question can open a very different door.
If you're in a season of life where your old rhythms no longer seem to fit, this is exactly the kind of exploration I do with women in my Ayurvedic consultations.
We look at your individual patterns: your daily rhythm, nourishment, digestion, energy, sleep, stress and the demands of your current life—and begin asking a different question: What does this phase of your life require now?
Warmly,
Renata de Castro, BSc (Hons), B.Ed Integrative Women’s Health Consultant Ayurveda × Depth Psychology
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